


Uneasy.

by colderthancold



Category: Butterfly Soup (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, realizing feelings ft. two dorks who know nothing about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 08:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14637527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colderthancold/pseuds/colderthancold
Summary: Noelle wasn’t bothered about that almost kiss as much as she was bothered about the expression Akarsha had on her face before it happened.





	Uneasy.

Noelle wasn’t bothered about that almost kiss as much as she was bothered about the expression Akarsha had on her face before it happened. It wasn’t like the almost kiss didn’t bother her, anyways. It had bothered her a lot, too much to handle at once and to explain with words that made sense in any language of the world. But Akarsha’s expression was a whole other story.

They were studying at the library. Min-seo had left an hour ago and they were reviewing science now. It was one of their first real study evenings— Akarsha had just stopped cheating and had gotten a not-so-good grade in their last chemistry test (a 62), so Noelle had offered to help her (she wouldn’t have if it weren’t for Diya, but she hadn’t despised the idea as much as she thought she would).

Akarsha was as smart as Noelle had thought— a girl that could easily get an 85 without studying, for example. She had suspected it due to her sense of humor. Noelle always said it was dumb and made no sense, but sometimes her replies and comments were intelligent, and Noelle suspected that to be that fast and witty you had to be a bit smart. But this test had been, quoting Akarsha ‘a mother trucker one’, so she had ‘failed miserably’, so she got Noelle to help her (or got Diya to ask Noelle to help her).

“I can’t go on. Gonna have an aneurism right here, right now. Hope those don’t make lots of noise— I don’t want the librarian to kick me out.” She said, placing her head over the table with a dumb pout on her face.

“If you keep stopping every five minutes to say that then we’re going to lose a lot of time, Akarsha.” Noelle said. Akarsha whined. Noelle shushed her.

“So what? I’ll still be a failure, even if I study. Failures like me are born this way, baby.” She winked and half-smiled when saying the last part (as to pretend she was attractive or something) but she looked sad. Noelle knew that grade had hit her bad, but she didn’t want to ask. Not like she could, anyways. She had always been too insensitive when talking about feelings (or talking in general) so she preferred to stay on the side and just try not to interfere.

“If you study there are greater possibilities of success, so don’t say things like that.” That was all the help she thought she could give. Akarsha kind of smiled.

“Wow. You gotta be a psychologist sometime, Frenchman. Just cheered me up so much I’mma die with a smile on my face.” Noelle was about to say something when Akarsha chuckled. “I’m kidding. Those are the Frenchman ways and they’re alright. I like them.” And they kept studying. Noelle hadn’t noticed all the subtle things Akarsha was unintentionally hinting her; she had just noticed she looked a bit calmer and was less over-the-top than other days— something she didn’t particularly mind. So when Akarsha got that close to Noelle’s face with that look on hers then she almost screamed.

She had looked at Akarsha because she wanted to see how everything was going and noticed she was glaring at her. Instead of smiling dumbly at her or saying something stupid like she always did she turned her face to Noelle’s and got a bit close. Then more. And more. Their faces were really close to each other and this was so not-Akarsha like that Noelle wondered if she was possessed (something too fiction-like to be real but considering the situation anything could be real).

Akarsha’s face was the calmest and most neutral face Noelle had ever seen. She even felt off when looking at it. Her eyes weren’t sparkling like always— they were glowing lightly, like candles in the night-sky. Her mouth, usually curled in a Cheshire-like manner, was a straight line on her face and all of her features seemed to be resting, sleeping. And when Noelle could almost feel how Akarsha smelt like candy, she stood up.

“I’m leaving.” She was able to mutter, putting all her books in her bag messily and with no care, looking at anyplace else but Akarsha. “Studying is over. Text me if you have a question. Bye.” She had talked too fast and had stopped when she was already giving Akarsha her back. She felt Akarsha mutter something as she left.

“Frenchman?” She called. But Noelle didn’t hear her.

 

The next day had been awkward. Noelle had thought and thought of all the reasons why Akarsha had come that close to her that day and had come to the conclusion Akarsha had tried to kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss. Her. On the lips. Like people do when they’re in love. Like people do when they want to be close to the other. Like people do when they’re willing to sometimes become a couple. Or even get married. Or. Well. Noelle didn’t want to think about all the connotations a kiss on the lips carried because every time she pictured her and Akarsha getting married —married, can you believe it?— she felt uneasy.

Akarsha had been the same as always, the next day. Witty and dumb, seemingly more carefree than the past week, she had acted like in any other day of the year. But she hadn’t looked at Noelle.

She had talked to her. She had talked about her and joked around at her expense— but she hadn’t looked at her. And considered she normally made a fair use of eye contact to make her jokes even sillier, Noelle felt even more uneasy than when she pictured their marriage. The thing is that that uneasiness didn’t feel as bad as this one.

They had another study date that afternoon. They sat next to each other near the window, like always. The afternoon was clear and you could see dust on the table thanks to the light.

“Ah, home sweet home.” Akarsha said as they sat down. “Let’s hit the books, huh, Noelle?” She asked, looking out the window. Then Noelle, being as Noelle-like as Min-seo, threw her Calculus book directly to Akarsha’s lap. Akarsha looked at her for the first time in the day. Her eyes were burning in light.

“What the—? Noelle, you alright?” And she seemed worried. No dumb smile. No eyebrows up. No ‘Frenchman’. Just a worried girl looking worriedly at her seemingly about-to-go-crazy friend.

“Shut—” Noelle took a deep breath. She looked at her lap. Now it was her turn to avoid eye-contact. “Why are you doing this?” She asked. She sounded stupid and hated the tone of voice that had come out of her mouth. She hated to sound like that.

“Doing what? Was it the joke I made at lunch? I’m sorry about that one, okay? If it made you feel bad or something. I went too far. Can’t control my big mouth, you know that.” Akarsha chuckled, and as Noelle heard those chuckles —ones that seemed unreal and weird— she looked at Akarsha again. She had stopped chuckling, maybe due to the look on Noelle’s face.

“It isn’t that stupid joke, Akarsha.” She said. She didn’t care about that dumb joke now— she had never cared about it. “Yesterday. You tried… You tried to-to kiss me.” And now she was stuttering. Noelle wished to slap herself.

Akarsha’s eyes widened. “So that’s what it is.” She said. She looked down. Noelle started talking again against her will.

“And today you haven’t made eye-contact with me, that until now. If anyone here is the victim, Akarsha, it should be me, meaning I should be the one avoiding eye-contact and—” And Akarsha kissed her. And it felt better than Noelle had imagined. She even closed her eyes for a second. She felt Akarsha smiling gain. It was her dumb smile. Her Akarsha smile. The one Noelle didn’t want to like and hated but loved still, for some reason.

When they stopped, Akarsha touched the back of her neck. She was blushing. Noelle had never seen her blush.

“You looked like you wanted to shut up, so I helped.” Akarsha said. Noelle couldn’t articulate any words, so she nodded. “And I— long story short, my dear Frenchman, is that the other day I was about to pull this sick prank on you, and then I laughed to myself and though ‘Hey! It even feels as if I was in love with her or something’ and it made sense, for some reason. I started blushing like an anime character (face all red and mumbling things like my senpai had asked me out or whatever) and I didn’t know what to do because I was built against this kind of feelings, you know? Like a robot or whatever. And I couldn’t understand because I never have liked to think about this stuff— so yesterday I just went with the flow of my so-called feelings and— I never talk about this stuff, Noelle. I never do.” She took a deep breath, smile still on her face but with an uneasy expression on her face.

“I never thought, Akarsha,” Noelle started. “That I, of all people, could feel something such as this. Until yesterday I was better off by myself. But today I am reconsidering that.” She said, smiling. She couldn’t help it. Akarsha chuckled.

“As sappy as two morons who aren’t used to talking about feelings can get.” She said. And Noelle’s smile turned bigger.

“You are the moron, moron.” Noelle said. Akarsha giggled and placed her chair closer to Noelle’s.

“Guess I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a while since i've posted about buso and i had this in my drafts since last year i think. im love this two so much,, truly an otp. hope to write more about them in the future, including min and diya too. hope yall liked it. take care and peace out! o7


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